"Will I ever be happy again?"
Brett/Pathway/Leave a Comment
"Will I ever be happy again? Will the pain and numbness ever end?”
That was how the session started....
As an emotional client dealing with the loss of her father ~ and the hopes and dreams that went with him, just sat across the room from me and just cried.
Maybe you’ve had similar thoughts also.
My client was feeling a sense of fear and panic that she would forever be stuck in a vortex of emotional trial. She was becoming overwhelmed by the consuming and ever changing moods and emotions.
One of the misconceptions about grieving is that there will; be anger, but there is no discussion about the fear, depression, resentment, feelings of betrayal, or the many other emotions that are stirred up in the emotional abyss. When loss sends us into a free-fall decent into the abyss, we clamber for anything that will bring some calm and peace.
Grief sends us into a whirlwind of emotions that come at anytime and without warning. One minute you will be up, and then out of nowhere, a thought, smell, image, or anything sends you spiraling into the abyss.
The reality is, you will find peace and happiness once again.
You will be able to discover the joy that once filled your life.
The Pathway Through Grief leads to a life with loss, and one of understanding and acceptance of a new life as a loss manager.
What my client was experiencing is so universal that all of us will feel if we have not yet. The loneliness, fear, lack of hope, and the emotional roller-coaster associated with it.
When we lose someone or something close to us, it is as though a part of us has left. The attachments we make and that ground us in this life, are a very important part of our safety, and our security.
To lose any part of that security, rocks us until we find a stable footing again.
This is why it is so important we learn to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those who need comfort.
Without the care, support, and attachment connection to another person, we feel alone and lost. When we are alone, and lonely, we desire for connection to calm our fears and our inner emotional chaos.
We need a listening ear. We desire to have someone just sit us, and be.
Sometimes there is nothing that we want or need fixed, we are simply looking for that closeness of someone who will say they are there for us and whom will let us vent all the pain and fears without correcting or challenging our reality in the moment.
That is what my client wanted that day as she cried in my office. It was the safe and responsive ear that heard her worries and fears. Finding safety in a person, a community, and building those bonds that help keep you grounded when the world rocks is a vital part of traveling your Pathway Through Grief.
It's not about a stage to get through. It is all about building new connections and establishing safety in the current reality.
That is the strength of a Loss Manager and what comes when you cross the Emotional Abyss.
Take the Personal Grief Inventory NOW and see how well you (or someone you love) is doing in their grief. You will also get the eBook "Tools at 2:00a.m." to give you the tools you need when grief strikes.
With deepest regards,