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"Will I ever be happy again?"


Brett/Pathway/Leave a Comment

“Brett, why do I keep feeling anger and emotions?" 

“I thought I was through that stage and that I was about to find acceptance and move on.” “When I close my eyes, I just feel it all over again. I feel lied to about how this works.”

The reality is, we have been lied to.

As a therapist, I have seen this frustration and prolonged grief create distress, worry, and lost happiness in too many people. Happiness and joy that can be felt by anyone after loss. Joy that does not have to be only a dream. Many people around us, people whom we would like to find support from, are also mistaken about what loss is, how grief works, and what to do to help you. It can leave you feeling very alone.

For too long, media and pop culture have created this false idea that we easily move through 5 distinct stages of grief and then we are all better. Even many grief professionals are trapped in the stages idea, and it doesn’t help.

If you are anything like my clients who have uttered something similar, you know how frustrating life after loss can be, and how lost you can feel. What we really want and need is someone who can sit with us, be with us, and just feel with us, without needing to take it away or wondering “when will you be over this?”

Unfortunately, most of our support system is unable to support us, because they don’t understand what we really need. Not only have we been misguided to think grief is a step by step process, many have been denied the ability to feel, to release their fears and emotions.

The “no drama” expectations and “man up”, “get over it”, and “deal with it” attitude hurt us. This impact of society’s misconception of grief, lack of good support, and denial of the process has created increased ~

  • insomnia,
  • depression,
  • mood distress, and
  • loss of the life after loss.

It is trapping us in a state of perpetual and continual grief. Too many believe you must “stuff the emotions in the shoe” (as a client once said), and “suck it up, get over it, and move on”. Right?


Life does return after loss, and so does the joy, peace, and happiness that you long for.

AND, it can happen faster than you thought.

When you step onto the Pathway Through Grief, you discover the joy you desire. You realize that you are going to be okay. That you can feel peace again. And if you cry or get angry, it means you are doing it right.

But how did it happen? How did we get a universal experience like grief and loss so wrong for so long?

When the Stages idea of grief was first presented to the world, it was the first of its kind. Up to that point, no one had tried to put the experience of loss down in a simple process.

“I thought I would feel anger and move on to acceptance. Why does no one understand what I’m feeling? I am so tired and just want to be able to sleep.”

With the release of the book On Death and Dying, the Stages idea lept into the mainstream. It was used to give answers to the chaos that is loss. Professionals finally had a framework they felt they could use to help their clients. Grievers finally had a tangible idea that helped them understand what they were feeling.

The idea of 5 distinct and separate stages was now everywhere. We see it in movies, on television, it is talked about by talk show host, It has to be right, right? Wrong. I would love it if I could tell you that we could easily move step by step through a loss. That you would smoothly and cleanly go to each stage and then be done.

The real experience is anything but a straight path with steps and stages with never a back step. It is so much more like a roller-coaster. One client even described it as a bungee jump.

Because there was so much distress in so many of my clients, I had to help. Because so many people are lost in the Pathway without direction, something had to be done.

The Pathway Through Grief coaching program makes greif less painful. Hope a reality. Joy a part of everyday.

In the Pathway Through Grief coaching program, you discover that

  • There is no timeline or right way.
  • If you slip “backwards” to a place you’ve been, it is very natural and expected.
  • Being at peace one day and collapsing into depression or rage the next is not a sign of failure.
  • It is a natural part of working through the emotions of loss and finding safety and peace.
  • Grief is not a step by step process that fits into a couples weeks of sick leave.
  • When you experienced loss in your life, you immediately began a journey. A journey that leads to a new life with peace and joy, with the loss as a part of who you are.

Most of my clients have experienced immediate peace when they understand the real process of grief and how they are moving through their Pathway.

When you understand what grief is and how you really move to a place of acceptance, you instantly find peace. You also discover you are probably doing better than you thought. In this online coaching program, I break down the misconceptions and the true Pathway Through Grief and give you a foundation to begin you journey along the path.


With the activities and the information you are ready to begin moving toward a life after loss. One client had trapped by the stages notion for so long that she was becoming deeply depressed and hopeless. She was losing sight of what was possible. After discovering the Pathway Through Grief and seeing where she was and where she could go, she instantly regained the hope that life would again be bright. And so can you. The reality of loss is that we all experience it, but not in the same way. Discovering how the loss is impacting you, and your Pathway is key to moving forward. That is exactly what you gain with the Pathway Through Grief. In the Pathway Through Grief program, You learn that being in denial is not a bad thing and that it actually helps you move through the loss faster. You discover how to use bargaining to slow the rollercoaster so you can make sense of it all. You learn about the 4 types of loss and how you are probably experiencing them all at the same time. You will understand how to cross the Emotional Abyss with less pain and fear. Finally, You will learn what it really means to find acceptance of the loss. Don’t wait another day to start your Pathway journey.

With deepest regards,